“We learn from failure.” “It is failure that causes you to grow.” These statements that attempt to put perceived failure in perspective have been validated by many people, however for most, it still doesn’t make the prospect of failure or the experience of it any easier. Often these sentiments become a temporary consoling salve on the wound of our self-esteem and deflated ego in the midst of setback. The fear of failure is still the most significant psychological barrier to initiating most efforts towards progress. Whether it shows up as a fear of rejection, or as the debilitating habit of procrastination, fear of failure has unnecessarily immobilized the fulfillment of many goals, aspirations and desires.
I say unnecessarily because when “failure” is viewed from the mechanical operation of brain functioning instead of from the narrative conjecture of, “(I’m) not good enough,” derived from the consequence of said brain functioning, one can readily transcend not only the fear of failure but the experience of it as well. All successful accomplishment – including affairs of the heart – are facilitated through neurological connections happening in the brain. That sounds romantic, huh? But it is true. Whether learning to ride a bike or launching and sustaining a business, “success” occurs because the brain (subconscious) has made neurological pathways – connections – creating the functional consequence of a fulfilled intention. In other words, success is largely the act of appropriate brain connections occurring. It is the reason experience and practice are valuable assets; neuro-pathways are forged resulting in effectiveness and efficiency.
The perspective just shared is admittedly a very “mechanical” way of viewing what promotes success, however that is precisely the point: to withdraw consensus with the emotional/psychological narrative inferred from the consequences of the said neuro-pathways not being forged. When those neuro-pathways for a desire, intention, behavior or action have yet to be formed and connected, the result is naturally an inability to fulfill the intention. The subsequent or presumed emotional reaction to the prospect of unsuccessfully fulfilling an intention is unfortunately informed with the erroneous inference of inadequacy instead of the informed awareness of the need to simply forge the neuro-pathways that facilitate accomplishment.
To withdraw credence given to the narrative (the self-imposed story conjectured from the result of experiences reflecting neuro-pathways that have not yet been forged [i.e. “failure”]) is to release yourself from the emotional and psychological drag the “I’m not (good, smart, pretty, lucky, fortunate, connected) enough” narrative perpetuates. When so-called failures are considered from the mechanical vantage point of neuro-pathways not yet connected in the brain to enable success, you do not become daunted by seeming setbacks. You essentially do not take mis-steps, setbacks, lack of progress personally. Instead, you re-group, take stock of circumstances and re-engage with ways, methods or alternative approaches that are more apt to forge the neuro-pathways that engender success.
This is a self-fortifying approach to your psyche as well as to your goals and intentions. You render the idea of “failure” obsolete. Imagine the possibility for progress without the undermining drag of the fear of failure. You may even find yourself engaging ideas and aspirations until now thought of as only pipe dreams or fantasy. You now realize that the fulfillment of any beneficial endeavor that authentically resonates is only a matter of forging the neuro-pathways in the brain that enable accomplishment and fulfillment.
