How to empower trust

Going to take a most unorthodox approach (don’t all these newsletter posts do that?) to the idea of trust. We all know the familiar troupes, “Trust your intuition,” “Trust your first mind” “Trust but verify,” “Trust is earned,” … and the many subjective variations and themes on this idea of trust. But is there a way to trust trust?

Hmmm… (insert mental image of extended index finger and curled knuckles supporting chin with eyes rolled to upper right) … how to trust trust. (The spell check writing program used to write this post has now twice displayed its blood red underscore insisting I review why am I writing a repetitive word consecutively! Sorry – get over it spell check!) Is there a basis for trusting trust? (Spell check preferred the variation of the ‘trust’ word consecutively flowing much better – glad I could oblige, spell check.)

Indeed, there is a basis for trusting trust. Through understanding where true trust starts one can compel what is trustworthy into experience. Ah, ‘what is trustworthy’, now that’s a thought. It stands to reason that one can trust trust (sorry, spell check) if one is compelling what is – trustworthy. 

Whether it is in intimate relationships, business, friendships, arrangements, deals – life, itself – how do we compel what is trustworthy so trusting trust is not a gamble? By, as stated, understanding where trust originates. Trust originates with understanding how to trust the self. 

Fundamental trust of self is not a adjacent derivative proposition to trusting troupes such as, ‘trust yourself’ as an intellectual concept, or ‘trusting your gut’ or ‘trusting your intuition’ as it were. These adages are misleading at best and can cause trouble at worse. 

“Trusting yourself” as a mere mental construct is like moving around blindfolded without aid – see how well that’ll serve you. And trusting your ‘gut’ or your ‘intuition’ if rooted in fear, reduces your trust to just that: trusting fear – and that cannot bode well for well-being if all trust is fear-based. Your anxiety from this practice will tell you that.

So, how does one comprehend and apprehend trust in the self that results in compelling what is trustworthy into experience? By understanding the point of origin for the investment. “Huh?” To make a sure proposition of trusting the self occurs when you recognize just what ‘self’ you are trusting in.

Most experience the precariousness of self-trust because the trust investment – as it were – is in a “composite self” and not the authentic, true self. What is the ‘composite self’? It is a constructed identity based on what you have experienced, rather than then on who you are independent of experiential conditioning. (Read that sentence deliberately again, please.)

To think – as most do – that your existence – your very aliveness – is the sum of what you have been through is akin to thinking a precious-metal pitcher container is equivalent to what is poured out of it. You can pour a delicious elixir from a pitcher or spoiled milk – does the content poured quantify the nature of the pitcher itself?

As such, you are the means of your experience but you – your true identity – is not actually determined by experience – we just think we are no more than the sum of our past, so we continue to live out, perpetuate and satisfy that perception. 

Thusly, this is the “self” – the composite of what has happened to us – that we attempt to trust. And because the precariousness of experience is just that – precarious – trusting in that composite is as well. Why would I have confidence in trusting a ‘self’ that can be triggered by even a faint scent that brings remembrance identification of a horrendous experience? ‘Hard pass.’

Therefore, self-trust as it is commonly referenced is intuitively challenging – just who am I trusting? Am I trusting the self that was molested at five? Or fired at 35? And hence, the experience of trust in our respective, relative worlds can be challenging and fraught with betrayal of said investment. Hell, we sometimes betray ourselves. This is no recipe for trust.

On the proverbial ‘other hand’ (though they are by no means equal), there is a “self” of you that innately is fundamental and is not an experiential construct. Where do you think the urge to want to satisfy fulfillment comes from despite your history? Contrary to assumption, that desire doesn’t stem from the desire to escape misery – that’s just the construct the impetus is reduced to. That desire that all possess to fulfill a satisfying life comes from your true nature, your true self – that is irrevocable, precisely because it is fundamental to existing.

Now that ‘self’ you can trust with complete abandon because its only mandate is to fulfill well-being. ‘Yes, please.’

How is the true self lived from and consequently, trusted? Wrong question. Since that is the fundamental self of you, the question is, “Am I increasingly ready to no longer insist on relating to a composite construct of myself?” 

If you find yourself reducing or relegating this essential question to philosophical musing or esoteric labeling – then you have resoundingly answered that question by that response. (insert winking smile emoji here)

Too often, we are disappointed by the betrayal of trust because unknowingly or ignorantly we are investing or desiring to invest trust in this precarious self-construct and unfortunately blame it on trusting trust itself. (When the real culprit is attempting to trust a distortion of the self.)

This narrative becomes the experience lived out and chances of betrayal ensue (either being betrayed or being the betrayer). As a potent reminder, when trusting in the non-distorted, fundamental self of your nature is cultivated – just by awareness of its existence and the willingness to relinquish the familiar, composite self – then you perpetuate, extend and compel from yourself what is trustworthy.

Trust is no longer a precarious proposition when what is trustworthy becomes the counterpart to trusting the true self. It is no longer blind, a gamble or naive. 

Know there is, and therefore welcome, the relevance, appreciation and foundation of your true irrevocable fundamental self-identity. The consequence of this self-identification is that you extend and experience what is trustworthy. 

Come to know the self that is trustworthy. Come to know yourself.