Normalizing Low Self-Worth
In a recent hypnotherapy session, an area was explored from the context of whether actions within this particular area were considered ‘normal’ behavior. I informed the client that there is a difference between what is normal and what has been normalized. This idea elicited a curiously rapt focus from my client as the distinction was of compelling interest. It was a case of normalizing low self-worth.
The client’s desire was to “increase” self-worth and I informed the person that low esteem and self-worth is not normal, but indeed has been normalized. Normalizing low self-worth (any lack in your experience of life – your health, relationships, money, satisfaction, etc. – are reflections of normalized low self-worth).
Resetting and re-normalizing true self-worth is about recognizing that self-worth is natural and “normal” to begin with.
Low self-worth and esteem are not the culprits – but the programming of such is. When mental programming (ideas we absorb) in various ways indicate that worthiness is based on who you are, rather than, THAT you are, issues of self-judgment are triggered by this programmed basis of what constitutes self-worth.
The programming of feeling “not enough” – by whatever considerations trigger that feeling-judgment – is a very pervasive hypnotism that results in “normalizing” low self-worth.
The aliveness that inhabits your body has never known itself to not be enough, however the brain, designed to absorb programming, can absorb the idea and the conditioning of lack.
This programmed lack consciousness shows up as normalizing feelings of low esteem and will unconsciously synchronize behaviors, perceptions and emotions to reflect/confirm its pseudo validity. The irony is the programming of ‘I am not enough’ compels a desire to be included and accepted, and what more popular club is there to belong to than the Low-Esteem Club!
Its membership is legion and large, so we want to belong! See the catch-22? If the word, “popular” denotes pervasive rather than desired (which people confuse) then belonging to the pervasive feelings of low esteem can unwittingly become our ticket into some form of quasi-acceptance.
Admittedly, this is an unconventional way to contextualize the origins of low self-esteem – wanting to fit in to what has been normalized – (and as many know, station in life does not itself mitigate low self-esteem but at best, distracts from it).
Normalizing low esteem to fit in, as a semblance of unconscious acceptance, is the origin of perpetuated self-esteem issues – not your personality.
This context, however, can be profoundly liberating as this meta-perspective of awareness of the origin of mental/emotional esteem issues can be the leverage out of playing whack-a-mole with “feelings” that are only subconsciously conspiring to validate our membership into the Low-Esteem Club – “I’m In!”
This insight can be perceived of as radical because it goes counter to the “examine feelings (or not) mantra” of our pervasive mental health paradigm. But as I have often espoused in my healing therapeutic work, I am more interested in true liberation than I am in following the therapeutic status quo paradigm of conventional approaches to well-being.
The question you want to self-reflect on is, “What have I normalized?” – either through familiarity or conventional assumption about myself or a matter. The litmus for this consideration is any area, dynamic, circumstance or feeling that is unsatisfactory, unfulfilling or interfering with your state of peace.
If something causes you distress – than you have unconsciously normalized its vantage point – it is NOT fundamentally normal.
Relationship issues? What dysfunction as been normalized? Health challenges? What perception about health deterioration as been normalized? Career frustration? What ideas surrounding your purpose consideration have been unconsciously normalized?
Indulgences that are detrimental? What issues have been normalized that are requiring a coping device?
This ultimate litmus test applied to any unsatisfactory issue faced is your leverage for liberation from it. It is not ‘normal’ to suffer! The very idea that it is considered so is the ultimate normalization of something that is not, itself, genuinely normal.
Be your own salvation – decide that you will no longer normalize (accept) issues, considerations, ideas and perspectives that do not reflect your fundamentally normal state of well-being. This de-programming becomes the change you desire to see.
You are not what has happened to you; you are the decision to normalize it. Do not blame or judge yourself for the occurrences normalized that victimize, just compassionately decide that you will no longer accept or consider dysfunctions as normal simply because they are familiar.
The only thing truly normal about you is your irrevocable well-being. Period.
