Sandy Hook Shooting

How to Carry Your Heart Through this Tragedy

Friday, December 14th happen to be a very early session day for me beginning at 7:30am, which is not unusual for my practice as a few clients need to arrange their hypnotherapy sessions before they begin their work day. However what was atypical for a Friday was four back-to-back client sessions – whenever possible I try to schedule a half hour break between clients – to process session recordings, return phone calls, emails, etc. This, for me, was not starting out as a typical Friday – and until my 11:30am, PST client, I had no idea how profoundly greater that reality would be for our entire country – and the world. Confined to the isolation of three continuous hours of client sessions it was not until my 11:30 arrived that I became aware of the news. I sensed something heavy the moment she entered my office, “Have you heard the news?” my client pensively inquired. “No,” I plaintively stated “I’ve been in session all morning.” “18 children were shot and killed at an elementary school,” my client responded with palpable heaviness. (Later it would be discovered the total casualty count would be 27). Interestingly, the impact of becoming aware of such tragic news via a one-on-one relaying of the information blunted the atmospheric impact that unconsciously accompanies the informing of devastating news via the air waves of television or the internet (and to a somewhat lesser degree via radio broadcast) with its accompanying images and “breaking news” amplification of what is already inherently a tragic event. Receiving this kind of news via an inadvertent sole messenger boded well for me to solidly convey my instinctive vantage point regarding such a catastrophic, overwhelming event.

It is this perspective I submit to you with the humble intention to enable you to carry your heart through this devastating event and its inevitable aftermath of myriad reactions bound by a collective pain and anguish.

You will undoubtedly receive an array of (mostly) solid information on the psychological, societal and political perspectives and discourses this tragedy will and should elicit. Perhaps this present, devastating tragedy will finally enable a mature, progressive debate on gun-control rather than opposing-faction, knee-jerk reactionary finger-pointing. And you will also receive religious and spiritual perspectives to aid in comforting the soul and psyche through the shock an ordeal of this nature inevitably causes.

So the perspective intended from this writing is to provide a “cosmic” viewpoint of occurrences like the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. My use of the word “cosmic” should by no means generate the assumption of expecting some airy-fairy, pseudo-metaphysical-spiritual, impractical treatise on this horrible, senseless massacre of pure, innocent children. If you step away from the loaded baggage the word “cosmic” conjures up from the ill-informed rhetoric that creates those assumptions, and recognize the true meaning of the word (as define in the Merriam-Webster dictionary: “the vastness … of the universe in contrast to the earth alone; characterized by greatness … in extent, intensity, or comprehensiveness.”) then the following submission can carry your heart through the anguish of troubled times and enable you to “mid-wife” the birth of human consciousness anchored in love and the well-being of all.

Because the cosmic perspective is almost always overshadowed by the understandable, yet myopic, vantage point wrought from the visceral impact devastation has on our collective and individual conditioned psyche, the world engages in a collective constriction when unsuspected, violent chaos careens into our shared reality. We understandably recoil in shock, fear, anger and dismay. The last thing an aware consciousness wants to do in troubling times however is to constrict by means of fear, anger, judgment, blame, horror and anguish. Indeed, allow an aspect of your awareness (consciousness) to have or experience those reactions because it is only natural and appropriate – and human. However horrific events present you with the opportunity to discover, seize or demand the other dimensions of your identity to be recognized and exercised – hence, the “cosmic” vantage-point of reality. How is this done?

My compassionate response to the anguish of my Friday, December 14th, 11:30am client was to invite consideration of a greater more vast perspective on the turmoil of our planet. I likened the violence that had just occurred to the witnessing of an egg cracking that allows a beautiful new-born chick to emerge. The cracking of the smooth shell is, itself, ugly (ignoring the inequities and the violence that abounds pretending our world is fine is the “smooth shell”). I cited many instances from the Mid-East conflicts, global warming-induced extreme weather (independent of the politics of the global warming debate, a mature, progressive discourse cannot help yield movement from the stalemate of the current political constipation regarding this issue), random acts of violence, even to the latent racial divides activated from incubation by the election of America’s first bi-racial President. All this I submitted to my dear, Friday, December 14th, 11:30am client, is the shell cracking and breaking open – and yes, it is indeed ugly. Not that many of the injustices cited had not existed or occurred throughout our history, but, thanks to the advent of the internet and cable TV, which has fueled (not created but fueled) the reality of our interconnectedness we all feel, witness and are unavoidably impacted like never before by the breaking of the status-quo smooth egg shell.

But a beautiful new chick (world) is indeed being born:

• With the savage murder of innocent children preceded by a recent rash of senseless shooting sprees we have reached the tipping point of where it is politically taboo to discuss gun-control regardless of the monied interest of special-interest groups
• The two-time election of a non-white U.S. President means that a woman or other nationality is no longer considered inconceivable, but rather inevitable in our future leadership
• The decisive second-term election of a non-white U.S. President indicates that a generation of voting age constituents are no longer bound by racial lines
• For all its growing pains, the internet reflects the burgeoning democratization of our entire world
• Although the political class is being dragged despite it’s dug-in heels, the re-election of a president purely on the power and strength of the populace has subtly, yet profoundly awakened the power of people to defy and defeat money and traditional forms of manipulating power
• NGO’s are flourishing like never before in our history
• A 14 year old Pakistani girl who survived a shot in the head because of her bravery in promoting girls’ education is hero-worshiped in ways that used to be relegated to sports stars and entertainers

These are but a few signs of a healthy world emerging through ugly birth pains. This new birth does not minimize the painful anguish of the shell cracking through such heinous acts of violence as the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, but rather it is this cosmic perspective that enables you to carry your heart through it and not become conditionally constricted as a result. With this cosmic vantage-point you are able not to succumb to the collective constriction most of the world is stricken with through reaction to such devastating news. In fact, this vantage-point enables you to participate potently in the midwifery of a world anchored in love. (By the way, even in the conventional sense, midwifery is practiced by both men and women). It is paramount that those informed with the cosmic perspective participate in midwifing a burgeoning world that works for everyone. Here are just a few ways you can facilitate the birthing process:

• The same Friday night of the shooting I went to my yoga class were there were about half in attendance for a typical Friday night class; I do not believe it was much of a stretch to assume the news of the day deflated (constricted) the mood for yoga for many (or they may have been understandably glued to news broadcast of the day’s events). In actuality, this was the evening to go to such a class. As a conscious midwife you want to participate in breathing and stretching for the victims, families and citizens who cannot help constrict from the shock of such a devastatingly paralyzing experience. Your actions and behavior becomes the proxy for those unable to respond expansively due to the direct or unconscious impact of the devastating violence. Continue running, exercising and participating in activities that stretch and expand the body as a means of maintaining the “universal suppleness” needed at such times of country and global constricted-ness. Perhaps you mentally dedicate your activities to those directly impacted by the trauma of present events.
• Compassionately empathize but do not commensurate or wallow in the just anguish of those experiencing the typical reactionary spectrum elicited from such traumatic events or else you unwittingly fuel the global constriction that enough people are undoubtedly succumbing to.
• Even from this “midwife” cosmic vantage point, allow yourself the personal moments where you feel the sorrow, anguish and other typical emotions associated with such trauma, however remain consciously tethered to the cosmic vantage-point so that those human moments remain just that – moments rather than extended periods or a point of view that you settle into and thereby unwittingly promote.
• Comfort others in anguish with reassuring empathy yet do not arbitrarily foist the cosmic viewpoint, however well meaning, unless you sense a genuine opportunity and receptivity for it because right now, so soon after the event, raw emotions may either block one from appreciating the significance of such an atypical response or can be miss-interpreted as being unsympathetic. It is more important as a cosmic mid-wife to be a comforting agent than an enlightening one.
• Obviously, participate in aiding the families and communities directly impacted in whatever way is appropriate for you, i.e., donations, volunteerism, etc. Perhaps recent senseless events spur your political activism in a way that shakes out any lulled political complacency. (Ways of supporting those impacted by the shooting as well as means of empowering change are conveniently listed at the end of this article.)

The cosmic vantage-point and the suggestions derived from it empowers you to be a part of the active solution of our world’s ills rather than just a shocked by-stander of them. Whatever way you are compelled to participate in cosmic midwifery cannot help but aid in carrying a wounded heart and contribute to birthing a world that works for everyone.
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Your feedback is welcomed below.

Donations to assist with funeral and subsequent expenses associated with the tragedy:
Sandy Hook Support Fund
c/o Newton Savings Bank39 Main Street
Newton, CT 06470

Newton Memorial Fund
http://newtownmemorialfund.org/donate/

Sandy Hook Elementary School Victims Relief Fund
http://www.crowdrise.com/SHSRelief

Contacting your local Congress Representative (to contact or tweet):
http://www.usa.gov/Contact/Elected.shtml