What’s Your Story?

The hypnosis of narrative liberates or imprisons. 

I have a close friend that as a form of greeting to those he is familiar with intones, “What’s your story?” It is his innocent way of asking what’s going on with the person, friend, colleague or relative he is addressing. It is his supportive way of saying, “how are you?” And as it is forthrightly considered, one’s “story” is indeed a reflection of the confines of one’s living. Since the mental programming from which we base our living is in effect a hypnosis – a superimposed direct or inferred suggestion – the hypnosis of narrative liberates or imprisons.

A narrative – story – as defined by the Oxford Dictionary is, “a representation of a particular situation or process in such a way as to reflect or conform…”, that collegiate definition sums up your life. We conform to the narratives – stories – that we interpret our experiences as representing. All phenomena of experience in and of itself is neutral; it is our interpretation that creates the “narrative of identity” to which our life conforms.  

This narrative of identity – for better or for worse – provides the pseudo-security of self-identification. Even our chronic complaints become part of the narrative of identity. I have witnessed in therapy a client display resistance to releasing a sabotaging issue because its familiarity unconsciously provides a sense of self.

Who am I without that chronic pain I use as an entry point for conversation? Who am I if I don’t fit into perceived acceptance unless I am agreeing with some group’s consensus? (Be it a political party, a culture or race or gender identification or other affiliation), I want to belong! And if it is belonging to misery – so be it – at least I am a card-carrying member!

The facetiousness of the last sentence heightens the illustration that suffering is largely a participation in the narrative of it. I suffer, therefore I am. As humans being (no typo in the wording there) – we cannot help but live by narrative – the question becomes, ‘can you be more conscious of the narrative you participate in?’

The answer is a resounding, “yes!” Since narratives – the stories we construct from our interpretation of what happens with us – are superimposed constructs on an identity that has no issues with issues, we can reconstruct the narratives of which we participate in. 

What must now be strongly considered is context – the over-arching perspective from which your narrative construction is formed. If you, as many, construct a narrative as an escape from the narrative you have invested your interpretations of life in, then essentially your reconstructed narratives become fantasy, denial or in extreme cases, psychosis.

This is delusion, not understanding awareness. Again, context is everything. If, on the other hand, your reconstruction of narrative is you leveraging your autonomy to re-interpret life according to its non-imposed narratives of suffering – you can and will create narratives of every-increasing well-being and vitality.  

It’s not rocket-science, it is radical deprogramming. Suffering – whether considered mild or severe, irritant or interfering – is imposed by the adherence (attachment) to a narrative that has been constructed and in play.  

Does your narrative include an accident from which you now divide your life as before accident and after? And therefore, witness the body or circumstances adhere to that ‘before/after’ narrative? You do not ignore or minimize the impact of the interferences – such as accidents – that infringe on well-being – you just deprogram from what it “has” to mean to you and as such you witness your life conforming (and re-configuring) to the sincere intentional narrative constructed. 

You are not so much willing something better, good, or positive to happen from bad circumstances; but rather, you are willing to decide that mishap become leverage not imposition. You decidedly decide what the narrative of your life represents rather than default to what rote programming says life circumstances are supposed to mean. Deprogramming to the max!

Owe back taxes? Change the narrative from judgmental shame and supposed irresponsibility to sober non-judgmental seeking of support to resolve, refusing to be intimidated by shame. Been unlucky in love? Release the indictment that people – or you – suck at relationships, and use relationship disappointment as fuel for reflecting on what perception of myself can I release to welcome greater harmony?

Finances or career stalled or unsatisfying? Release the narrative – the story – that your lot in life is to struggle with these things and reconstruct a narrative of using all setbacks as opportunities to recognize (through therapeutic support, reflection, or a combination of both) what long-held belief systems are ready to be released to permit greater well-being.

In truth, you are not a victim of circumstances but more precisely, you can become a victim of the narrative. Just what is your story?!