During a recent session my client was conveying his anguish over not being able to figure out why a certain experience had occurred in his life. It is a common self-inquiry prompted by disappointing events or circumstances. I indicated to my client that it is such an unfair question to pose to your logic. Why is it unfair? Because your logic only has the apparent facts of a given situation with which to ascertain reason. The key to making better decisions is to expose the unseen culprit contributing to a disappointing experience.Disappointing experiences are generally unconsciously invited; there are unconscious patterns of thoughts and ideas that significantly contribute to synchronizing the elements that result in disappointment. The converse is true as well regarding positive occurrences; they too have unconscious elements residing in the mind that encourages their likelihood.
Essentially, if one witnesses a pattern of disappointment or constriction in their experience it is very likely due to an unconscious expectancy of disappointment. The subconscious operates through associations. It creates patterns of thought, ideas and perception based on the associations it makes from experiences. A significant experience of rejection or disappointment in the third grade can result in the subconscious associating possibility with disappointment. This unconscious association can be like a heat-seeking missile searching out opportunities to turn possibilities into disappointment because association says this is what should be. While your conscious mind is wracking its logic trying to figure out why a disappointing experience occurred, the subterfuge at play from this subconscious association is really orchestrating the results witnessed. This is why it is unfair to ask your logic, using only the surface facts of the disappointment itself, to figure out why things occurred as they did.
The key to making future decisions that contribute to greater satisfaction is to first reflect on what associations make a disappointing experience feel normal. How does this experience of disappointment make me feel? Be specific with your reflection. Do not simply respond with, I feel sad, or upset. What does disappointment trigger? I found myself needing to repeat this question to my client to identify the underlying culprit at play. He realized on reflection in session that disappointment made him feel like an outsider, a feeling he recalls that had informed his early youth. Identifying this one crucial association has the possibility of being a game-changer in this man’s life as the association with being an outsider is replaced with the association of feeling included. Perhaps an objective professional can help with efficiently determining the associations that undermine if self-reflection alone does not yield sufficient insight.
Ultimately what is important is to reject the narratives your logic, based on superficial assessment, infers. That can take you down a detrimental rabbit-hole of misguided self-judgment and focus. You are more than what has happened to you and to mine that expansive capacity is the point of all self-improvement.
Want to neutralize that undermining subconscious pattern? Contact me to extinguish the unconscious culprit through hypnotherapy! 877.566.8880. Mention this article and receive a $25 dollar discount off your session! Hypnotherapy works. What do you want to reprogram?
