Single Approach Dissolves Fear

Shakespear

“To fear or not to fear – that is the question.”  Please excuse the gross liberties taken with Shakespeare’s quote but that is the ultimate question regarding one’s capacity to fulfill desires and intentions. The degree that fears inform your perception is the degree that paralysis infects successful progress.  The mind will conspire to legitimize all excuses, reasons and doubts about moving forward with decisions, ideas and pursuits when one is vulnerable to fear. It is the covert operation of fear that causes most doubts about our capacity to fulfill a desired intent.  The following reasons, thoughts, ideas and the hidden fears they mask provides some insight how vulnerability to fear enables fear to manipulate the mind’s perception: THE IDEA                                                              COMMENSURATE FEAR “Don’t have the money”    ——–   Fear you are not capable of generating greater abundance “Don’t have the time”        ——–   Fear that the task will be futile or not successfully engaged “Not clear on direction”    ——–   Fear of following your own authentic desire “Not enough confidence”  ——–   Fear (lack) of self-acceptance “No encouragement/support” ——–   Fear blocking internal self-support Doubt efforts will succeed       ——–   Fear of accepting one’s true capability The commonly expressed “reasons” above show the ego is … Continue reading

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Harmony at the Playboy Jazz Fest

hollywoodBowl

… and not just of the musical kind – although that was indeed in abundant supply. I have returned from a thoroughly enjoyable day of great music at the Playboy Jazz Festival at the famed Hollywood Bowl concert venue in Hollywood, California and the greatest impact for me from the day was a musical offering of a different version of sorts. There was kinetic energy generated throughout the stadium as the enthusiastic crowd arrived for this most time-honored annual musical event, in addition to the hustle and bustle of geographically mapping out your seating, your food, and your comfort, all orchestrated into a strategic engagement for the precise purpose of sitting back, relaxing and … groovin’.  After all the settling, dining and prep to relax gave way to, uh, relaxing – the energy, with an able assist from extraordinary musicians communicating the music of the spheres, of the entire diverse stadium crowd appeared to synchronize into a symphony of relaxed communion in fun; just connecting and being connected while ably hosted by the music of some of the jazz world greats.  It was a balmy, sun-kissed Sunday afternoon – just perfect for harmonizing with the harmony. And it was just … Continue reading

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Wiring the Brain for Fulfillment

brainOndrugs

This is your brain. This is your perception. This is your brain on perception. Your brain is a very dutiful instrument. It wires ideas, perceptions and chronic thoughts into behaviors, habits and possibilities – or the lack thereof – without questioning the impact of the wired information. This process is both the bane of your existence and the possibility for its freedom. The existential question for your identity is, “Am I more than what has happened to me?” The answer to this question is a resounding, ‘Yes!” Because of the neutrality of that organ called your brain it will, theoretically speaking, wire any perception that is imported. And because of that very neutrality the brain will rewire – connect the neurons that form thoughts – to reflect a different reality just as it has wired the perceptions of the present reality of your experience. This is why my constant refrain, “you are more than what has happened to you,” becomes the clarion call for greater well-being, abundance, fulfillment and possibility. For far too long “think positive” has become either a fleeting, weak admonition to combat negative experiences and doubt, or has been reduced to a proposition to make something good … Continue reading

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Why You CAN Fulfill Your Goals

brain_neurons1

The brain is an interesting instrument. We marvel at this non-replicable wonder and at the same time give it too much credit. I often encounter clients immobilized by self-doubt because an effort to realize an aim may reflect a feeble attempt or doesn’t come close to the imagined idea of the goal or pursuit. This rash, quick-to-judge assessment reflects more on the brain’s limitation then on the person’s limitation. That last sentence seems a contradictory quandary until you realize that you are NOT your brain. In truth, you HAVE a brain; you are NOT a brain. As magnificent an organ as the brain is for all the functions it facilitates and enables, it is still, nonetheless, yet another organ of the body albeit the most essential one.  As witnessed most explicitly in art, the brain itself cannot create art but it is indeed the instrument of the artistic impulse. This is true about all endeavors whether it be the teacher or the electrician, or the neurosurgeon or the chef. The brain is the instrument of human endeavor not the source of it. This brings me to the point of this little treatise: The reason you CAN fulfill your authentic goals and … Continue reading

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Of Sustained Habits and Hollow Ones

Hypnotherapy1

I am at times confronted with the frustrating dilemma posed from clients indicating that a chronic, undermining dynamic appears to still be active in their thoughts, feelings or behavior even though they have been dutifully enacting strides to change.  The erroneous assumption is that the change desired and focused on is not forthcoming or is not occurring.  Often, it is not that one has not shifted or begun to shift into a greater paradigm of expression but that the habit of certain negative thoughts and reactions is still present. As I recently reflected to a client, there is a difference between the point of reference that forms, fuels and sustains a negative habit and a “hollow” habit. When you are still identifying with an undermining issue (“I am” fearful, doubtful, negative, weak, unfocused, a procrastinator, unsuccessful, etc.) then sabotaging thoughts and behaviors are fueled by this point of identity reference.  The negative habits – such as procrastination, debilitating self-doubt  and the like, are formed out of identifying with the conditioned perception wrought from personal experience. When one, however, through whatever means (personal inner work, hypnotherapy, self-improvement practices, etc.) begins to release identifying with (which is not the same as ignoring) … Continue reading

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What Are You Preparing For?

beperparedSign

As humans we prepare for many things – sometimes adequately, sometimes not – however there is an unconscious preparation that often thwarts the things we prefer to be prepared for (like more money, greater health, relationship fulfillment, etc.) and this unconscious preparation frequently goes unrecognized. This unconscious preparation begins before we even lift a finger in the conventional sense of preparing.  In fact, this unconscious preparation is actually the source that either promotes – or hinders what we truly desire to be prepared for! Okay, enough beating around the bush here, the unconscious prep I am referencing is our assumptions! Our assumptions “prepare” us for experiences that reflect them! Of course, most (not all) assumptions are fueled by, or based on circumstances, however, we are not conscious that assumptions originate in the fertile soil of our thoughts and therefore we are often precariously “preparing” to experience the nature of our assumptions! When you assume “I cannot afford that” – sure, that thought may be based on circumstance, but the question you want to ponder is, “should all my thoughts be based on circumstance or possibility?” That is the crux of the matter! You tend to base all assumptions on circumstance … Continue reading

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Nobody’s Victim

no victim

What are you the victim of? The idea of being a victim registers differently for different people. Some have experienced circumstances that reflect the conventional connotation of that word. Others are defiantly adamant that this is not, or will not be part of their experience (again, relating to the conventional context of the word).  However, there are levels of victimization that we unwittingly, yet nonetheless, allow ourselves to be, uh, victimized by without even realizing this is the case. Do you allow yourself to be the victim of financial constriction through the unconscious doubt this picture will ever change? Do you allow yourself to be the victim of your past? Do you allow yourself to be the victim of cynicism, fear, self-doubt, negative thinking, inertia … and the list goes on. The dictionary defines victim as, ”a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action,” aren’t you “harmed” in some way by financial constriction? Doesn’t cynicism and negative thinking “kill” a bit of your spirit? I pose the question again, “What are you the victim of?” We have all heard the admonition that the victim should not be blamed for the … Continue reading

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Shifting the Paradigm of Your Experience

ParadigmCartoon

A paradigm, as defined in the dictionary, “is a distinct concept or thought pattern,” so it is no wonder efforts to effect change in one’s life can often amount to “moving the deck chairs around on the Titanic.” In other words, change, however sincere, can only amount to temporary adjustment if it is within the same self-perception paradigm. I am often asked in hypnotherapy sessions that have shifted one’s paradigm, how to apply the empowered thought to the same challenges besetting one from the former paradigm. I knowingly smile when this question is posed because it assumes the new paradigm is academic and not pragmatic (as well as an unconscious attachment to one’s struggles). This assumption stems from past change efforts that were unknowingly engaged from the same static paradigm and therefore chronic limitations were, at best, temporarily abated. I then reassure the client they can begin to release the expectancy of the same challenges continuing because the shifted paradigm excludes the pattern of thought perceptions that sustained the chronic restriction of the former paradigm. This brings us to the means of shifting the paradigm of restriction. Reactions are wired rather than real. Let me repeat that, “reactions are wired … Continue reading

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Readiness vs. Potential

CHOICERorP

A client arrived at my office recently distraught over a two-month dating experience that fizzled in the midst of what the client thought were very promising possibilities. This client echoes the frustration of many regarding burgeoning relationships that stall or simply just end. This relationship pitfall – finding one’s self involved in a relationship that is simply not going anywhere –  often has an underlying reality determining the success or the demise of relationship fulfillment.   The reality that impacts the possibilities for a relationship is confusing potential with readiness. When I mentioned this invisible, yet significant factor determining relationship success, there was a stunned look on my client’s face as the realization of making relationship choices based on partner’s potential rather than readiness was indeed the source of the disappointingly quick dissolution of the relationship. An individual can have great potential for a fulfilling relationship – shared values, attraction and other relevant factors in place – yet not necessarily be ready for relationship. My entire therapy practice is based on individuals readying themselves to accommodate their potential. Again, we often unconsciously confuse potential with readiness in the objects of our affection. Not everyone with potential is ready. Far too often … Continue reading

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Self-Love Courage

Woman-hugging-self

We tend to feel or think we have to discipline ourselves to follow through on matters to exact a greater degree of progress with our aims and goals. Yet this very idea of discipline often creates resistance to follow through because the need for discipline usually emerges from feelings of guilt or judgment about a matter.  What is missing from this well-meaning intention (the act of discipline) is the context that can promote the resolve and commitment to follow through on matters of relevance. What is this context that promotes and encourages the resolve to follow through on things? It is Self-Love. If completing tasks, goals and aims is engendered by guilt, repercussion, and judgment what we find we are really in resistance to is not so much the task or intention itself but the toxic perceptions and feelings of guilt, fear and judgment now associated with the matter. It’s human nature to avoid unpleasantness.  The mind recoils from adverse dynamics and any guilt fear or sense of futility regarding a matter breeds a disdain for the matter. The first order of business to dissolve resistance (also known as procrastination) is to replace toxic feelings about a matter with resetting … Continue reading

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